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Posts Tagged ‘Geek toys’


I know you’ve been searching far and wide to find the the perfect gift for me, your best geek friend. Rather than publishing a lengthy list of cool tech stuff I really want, here’s my list of items you definitely should avoid buying.

Merry Christmas.

Floppy Disk Drive Floppy Disk Drive
The 3 1/2″ floppy was ubiquitous in the 1980’s. No longer. If you’re talkin about a Blu-ray Disc instead? Hey, BFF!
512MB Memory Card 512 MB Memory Cards
These were once cool to have for digital cameras and transferring files, but 512 MB is no longer big enough. Show me you care and get me a solid state drive.
Windows 98 For Dummies Book Windows 98 for Dummies
While I do still have an installation disk set for Windows 98 in my storage cabinet, I have already learned to use the software. Also, no books please, unless its one of those that summarizes everything I can now find on the web.
Staples Easy Button Staples Easy Button
Cute gift, but they never worked!
CRT Monitor Cover PC Monitor Cover
I don’t need no stinkin CRT condoms! They’re hard to put on and take off. They seem to only come in one size, plus you can’t see through them.

USB Aquarium
Computers and water do not mix well together. Take me to a real aquarium like that in Atlanta. Besides, I have a screen saver with the same image that I can control.
USB Powered Sonic Pest Repeller USB Pest Repeller
No thanks. My geek bathroom already has insect screens.
USB Powered Smokeless Ash Tray USB Smokeless Ashtray
No thanks. I don’t smoke and neither does my computer.
USB Toaster - Fake USB Toaster
I know its a fake.
Soap-on-a-Rope - USB Mouse USB Optical Soap Mouse
No thanks. I wouldn’t know how to use the wheel.
Meg Whitman Bobblehead Doll Meg Whitman Bobble Head Doll
No thanks. Enough money has been wasted on her failed campaign.
DIY Plant Monitor that Twitters DIY Plant Health Twitter Kit
I do not need another social media user account to manage. When I talk to my plants, they can at least have the courtesy of talking directly back to me instead of sending a tweet. Besides, it would probably have more followers than me.
Nobody Reads Your Blog T-Shirt Nobody Reads Your Stupid Blog T-shirt
Don’t bother. My wife already has one.

What geek gift do you least want to receive this holiday?

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Bob Pauls writes for Des Moines Tech Support about appropriate technology and computers in business, education, and community development. You can follow Bob on Twitter @desmoinestech.  Bob’s e-mail address is bpauls@dsmtechsupport.com

 

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